The Fifth Ceremony: The Sun Rises Again
Post-Ceremony Reflection
As I arrived home, a sense of calmness began to wash over me, yet this time, it felt different, more open. I retreated to my bed and spent the entire following day in solitary slumber, avoiding contact with anyone. All I desired was to be left alone with my thoughts.
Therapeutic Session with Celia Chapman
As evening descended, I recalled that I had a scheduled session with a woman named Celia Chapman, a certified practitioner of Byron Katie's The Work. We engaged in a lengthy phone conversation, lasting about an hour, during which she guided me through one of the worksheets known as Judge-Your-Neighbor.
This time was unlike our usual sessions. Instead of discussing recent events, I asked Celia if we could approach things differently. I confided in her about a recent ceremony I had undertaken, one that had unearthed a childhood memory. In this memory, I remembered being scolded by a mother in Israel for accidentally getting hot sauce in her daughter's eyes. As I recounted the memory, Celia filled out the worksheet for me. We navigated through the four questions, and Celia prompted me to reflect on my feelings towards the mother and the situation.
Profound Insights and Shifts
Then came a particularly enlightening question from Celia: "What advice would you give the mother?" I pondered for a moment and replied, "Well, I would advise her to understand that I was just a three-year-old child who didn't fully comprehend my actions and their consequences. My intentions were never to harm her daughter, and I was deeply remorseful, even in tears, over what had transpired." My response triggered a profound shift within me, a sense of compassion I hadn't felt before.
Celia continued, "What advice would you give to your younger self hiding under the bed, Eli?" I paused to reflect and answered, "Hmm, I would tell myself to understand that accidents happen, and at three years old, it's okay to make mistakes. This lady was yelling because she didn't know how to react or help her daughter either." In that moment, as those words left my lips, something remarkable occurred. I lifted the veil of shame and anger that I had held towards myself, finally releasing my younger self from the prison I had kept him in. Waves of pure love and peace coursed through my being, and I thanked Celia for this invaluable lesson. We both burst into laughter, and I expressed my gratitude once again.
A TED Talk and Unexpected Revelations
"Before I hang up, Eli," Celia added, "Can I tell you about a presentation my team watched this week?" I agreed, and our conversation continued over the phone. I wasn't sure if Celia was fully aware of the profound emotions surging through me at that moment.
Celia shared the story of a woman who had delivered a speech about negative self-talk and its impact on self-perception. This woman had held a covered painting, initially solid black, and asked the audience to raise their hands if they found it beautiful, to which no one did. She proceeded to unveil layers of plastic sheets on the painting, each covered in black market and represented negative beliefs we hold about ourselves.
A Vision Transformed
My mind drifted into a trance, reminiscent of the vision I had experienced during my first ceremony. It was the moment when I had removed my eye cover and felt the vibrant world around me and the sun appeared in front of my face shining brightly. As Celia continued her story, I found myself transported.
"The woman removed layer after layer of plastic sheets and explained how underneath all of our negative beliefs hid a beautiful painting", Celia narrated, "until she revealed the final painting. Can you guess what that painting was, Eli?" Tears streamed down my face like a waterfall, and a profound sense of love filled and overflowed within me. "It was a painting of the sun," I replied.
Celia, sounding both surprised and amused, said, "Yes, how did you know? It was a painting of a beautiful sunset, Eli." As she spoke those words, within my vision, the radiant sun began to recede, and I realized during my first ceremony I wasn't gazing at the sun but at a painting of myself.
"You see that painting, Eli? It's my most prized possession, my Starry Night. You don't understand how long I worked on it, perfecting every single detail." God said as I broke down, confronted by my own beauty. Tears continued to flow as I beheld myself. A truly beautiful human being whom I held in deep reverence. Eliyahu Levitas. The true love of my life.
Journey to Self-Love
Returning to reality, I thanked Celia for her guidance and ended our call. I can't recall what transpired immediately afterward, but what I do know is that I embarked on a journey of self-love and joy, a place I've remained ever since.
Looking to integrate your plant medicine experience? Discover practical steps and insights on processing and applying the lessons learned from your ceremony in our comprehensive guide. Read this post.
